So, this started over a year ago. My bridal shower guest for last June got messed up and HORRIBLY, my mother-in-law's invitation went to the wrong address and her sister and neice were left off. The error wasn't caught until my maid of honor sent out an email asking people who hadn't yet done so to RSVP. My mother in law immediately sent me a text message asking why she never got an invitation. Well, I fully admit I made the guest list and the errors were TOTALLY my fault. But since beyond creating the guest list, I had no part in the planning of the shower I had no idea that she didn't know about it until she sent me that text. I immediately called her to apologize because it was my fault and I was SO sorry, but she refused to take my phone calls. So I texted her begging her to please answer the phone because I was so sorry. She texted me that she was not coming to the shower nor was she coming to the wedding and to never text her again. Well, I told my fiance (now husband) and he was livid that she wouldn't talk to me so he stormed over to her house and said some things to her that he shouldn't have... I wanted to call to apologize to his aunt for the oversight on the guest list, but my fiance told me not to because he said that side of the family was crazy and it wouldn't help to apologize. I didn't agree, but I listened because that's his family. Well, the day before the shower, I just thought it was so wrong that I hadn't called to apologize to them and I figured better late than never. So I called his aunt - got her voicemail. I said I was sorry for not having called sooner and that it was a mistake and that I would love it if she and her daughter would come to the shower the next day. Later that evening, I got a text from my mother-in-law said that I would never be forgiven for calling her sister so late and that I was "shit in her eyes forever." So...maybe my fiance was right that I shouldn't have called. I've never been called shit by anyone. ever. never. It was so mean and hurtful and uncalled for. I'd tried to apologize to her, but she wouldn't hear it. Apparently apologies aren't appreciated... Well needless to say it was a rough 2 months until our wedding. Up until the week before she wouldn't talk to us and refused to come ot the wedding... She ended up coming to the wedding and when I saw her I broke down in tears because I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy she came, but sad that it had to be under such strained terms. She got extrememly drunk during cocktail hour and came behind the head table during dinner and hugged me and said she was sorry. My response? "It's ok." I found out later that my response was a real problem to her... Anyways, after the wedding in August, things were ok. We didn't see her again until November when we gathered to watch the wedding video. Christmas time came and she invited us to her sister's house for christmas eve. The same sister who didn't come to the shower and who refused to attend our wedding over the shower invitation fiasco. Well, my husband's dad felt the need to butt in and tell her that we didn't want to go to her sister's house for Christmas Eve because we were uncomfortable and that, really, we felt like she (my mother-in-law) still owed us an apology for the things she'd said. WE NEVER SAID THAT!!! After the wedding, we were ready to let it go! We didn't want an apology! We just wanted it to go away!!! Well...shit. It's June now. A year later. And it still hasn't gone away. It's only gotten much worse. I'll jump to the chase. I'm pregnant now. With her first grandchild. My husband did not want to talk to her. But I figured the right thing to do was to contact her to let her know that she was going to have a grand child. It took a few weeks, but finally I and a few friends were able to convince him to call her. He got her voicemail - the box was full. So he sent her a text. Her response - "Congratulations to you and your family." Ok...so apparently she's forgotten who her family is... Anyway - she wrote an email back to my husband and said she was truly happy for us. But my husband was so hurt by her first response, he chose to not write her back. She didn't respond well to that... She sent another email saying that she'd supported our relationship while others talked behind our back. She said she was tired of her family being excluded from things and that she would be receptive to hearing from him, but not his father, brother, aunt or his wife - that would be me. First off - I never purposely excluded them! I didn't know them well enough to NOT invite them anywhere. They were on the wedding guest list but I missed them on the shower list. I apologized and got called names and then ignored. What more can I do??? Anyway - She'd been somehow stalking us on facebook. She saw some photos of a party we had to celebrate finding out we were having a boy. She sent me an email. She told me that I'd stolen her family from her. She called me a monster. She called me a bitch. How am I supposed to respond to that? Well, I responded by blocking her from facebook. And so did my husband. Her response to that? She wrote to my husband that we were fucking crazy. And then... And I quote... "I hope you lose everything hotshot. Including your niglett baby." (I'm black and my husband is white.) Well, I have it set in my head that if she thinks my baby deserves to die, on top of being a niglett, she can live with never seeing him. My husband says she didn't mean it. He says she was just hurt and trying to get a reaction out of us. My reaction is that she can go to hell. But she's obviously troubled. She's having a lot of financial troubles. And she's began drinking. My husband thinks she may be on drugs...I can say I don't really care whether she was under the influence or meant it. She will never be forgiven for that. Am I wrong??? Is it my fault? I apologized and was called names. My apologizes were never accepted, but I tried. But it's like she's foregetting that she called me shit. It's like she's forgotten that she told my husband I was not welcome near her again... I don't know what to do. My husband is hurting. He wants a relationship with his mother but he things she's not in her right mind and isn't sure he sould try to reach out to her. He's afraid of what she might say this time. I feel like it's a hard situation. So many details. So many sides. And this has been long enough. But I think this is enough detail for you to get the gist. Am I wrong? Or is she a bitch? I've tried to apologize for the mistakes that I know I made but she's blaming me for things I haven't done... I don't know. What do you think?
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