I've been battling with depression off and on for the last few years and it seems like it's a battle I'm currently losing. I cam to the conclusion that depression is like a vast dark ocean. The deeper you go in it the greater the pressure becomes until finally you can't move, breathe, think. Your whole world becomes about the pressure and all you do is hope that it kills you sooner rather than later. Well, and here is where the rant part comes in, I'm not going to let it crush me. My life seems to be going nowhere, so it's time to find some direction. My marriage has no passion, so it's time to either find a way to reconnect or get the fuck out of dodge. It's time to take my thumb out of my ass, stop waiting to die and get on with my life. God, I am so tired of being tired...and miserable...and feeling so goddamned alone. So here's my vow. I will win. No stupid chemical imbalance in my brain is going to rob me of a good, happy, fruitful life. My life will not be ruled by emotions programmed in by an out of whack set of wiring. I can beat this. I will win. Thanks for letting me say that.
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