You Wanna Know Why I Left?

wrote the following:

3 years.  I endured the group of "friends" I had for 3 friggin years.  Okay, so maybe I manipulated them a teensy bit.  No more than they did to me.

The neurotic: It was fake for her.  Everything she did was fake, and she so desperately wanted to be in our "inner circle" that she went extravagantly out of bounds, so much so that half of us wanted to tell her point blank to take off the mask.

The neurotic: A girl who thought that she was the greatest leader on earth.  Bossy, precocious (sorta), and very, very bitchy.  6th grade she clung to me, dragged me places, and hurt others carelessly.  And she thought she was the boss.

The angster: She overdid it, because she thought that's what we wanted, and she was so absorbed with her self-image and personal needs that she forgot to remember that some of our group were remarkably perceptive.

The fangirl: A girl so obsessed and enthralled with certain subjects that she failed to see the danger of a childlike fantasy.  She wished to be what she was not, and everyone forced her to see their way.

The intellect: My dearest, and nearest friend, her heart overrided by cold logic.  She searches for truth, for justification, in all the wrong places.

And then there's me: The bitchy, manipulative runner of the whole operation, a clique, I suppose in its own rite.  And depressed too.  And pressured, and fighting demons involving the appeal of suicide.

 And you wanna know why I went to a different school than all of them in high school?

Because I never, ever, wanted to see any of their faces again.  Too many bad memories, and too much cynism.  They fed the little voice in my head that told me life wasn't worth living.