i'm about to start an affair

wrote the following:

i've been married for going on 12 years. for the last 2 years my husband has been unable to keep a job so about 3 months ago he moved to another state to work in the family business. during the 2 years leading up to his move, i worked at a job that i hate knowing that he was at home playing games or doing something unrelated to finding a job. my resentment grew and grew every day and my love for him changed a little...i guess you could say it changed a lot. the fact that we only see each every 6-8 weeks is only helping to compound my feelings. i've figured out that i can do this on my own and i'm really not afraid anymore. i do still love my husband with all my heart but i feel like this time away from him is giving me a chance to figure out myself and my love for him. do i stay with him because i want to or is it because i feel obligated? he's my best friend but i sometimes wonder if that's the extent of the love that i feel for him. so there's this guy that i work with that i've had a secret crush on for a while now. i've been doing some subtle flirting for a while and we have a date in four days where it's pretty much already been determined that we will be having sex. there's a bet over the outcome of the super bowl and it's really a win, win situation for both of us. he's married too. i've got the old butterflies and it's fun! i'm not looking to leave my husband...more of a friends with benefits kind of thing. just filling a physical need. i've been so excited since we made these plans that my panties are pretty much constantly wet. i'm starting to wonder why i don't have any feelings of guilt...and that makes me feel bad because i don't feel guilty. i wish i could tell people how excited i am, how sexy i feel, how giddy i am...but they all love my husband or the other guy. i'm glad i finally got to share with somebody!