Posted on February 06, 2010 at 09:04 PM (PST)
( about 1 month ago);
section: confession / relationships
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i've been married for going on 12 years. for the last 2 years my husband has been unable to keep a job so about 3 months ago he moved to another state to work in the family business. during the 2 years leading up to his move, i worked at a job that i hate knowing that he was at home playing games or doing something unrelated to finding a job. my resentment grew and grew every day and my love for him changed a little...i guess you could say it changed a lot. the fact that we only see each every 6-8 weeks is only helping to compound my feelings. i've figured out that i can do this on my own and i'm really not afraid anymore. i do still love my husband with all my heart but i feel like this time away from him is giving me a chance to figure out myself and my love for him. do i stay with him because i want to or is it because i feel obligated? he's my best friend but i sometimes wonder if that's the extent of the love that i feel for him. so there's this guy that i work with that i've had a secret crush on for a while now. i've been doing some subtle flirting for a while and we have a date in four days where it's pretty much already been determined that we will be having sex. there's a bet over the outcome of the super bowl and it's really a win, win situation for both of us. he's married too. i've got the old butterflies and it's fun! i'm not looking to leave my husband...more of a friends with benefits kind of thing. just filling a physical need. i've been so excited since we made these plans that my panties are pretty much constantly wet. i'm starting to wonder why i don't have any feelings of guilt...and that makes me feel bad because i don't feel guilty. i wish i could tell people how excited i am, how sexy i feel, how giddy i am...but they all love my husband or the other guy. i'm glad i finally got to share with somebody!
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1 response to i'm about to start an affair
RE: i'm about to start an affair
Posted on February 07, 2010 at 06:44 PM (PST) ( about 1 month ago )wrote the following:
You don't feel guilt because you havent done the act. Guilt is a consequence of regret. The question isn't how you feel now but how you are going to feel. Will you be able to look back at this and smile or frown? You say you still love your husband but it seems that you are second guessing. If you are already looking to find someone else, then you arent in love as you think. I believe you just feel obligated. Did you ever just talk to you husband calmly? Without resulting in fighting. If so...then there is nothin you can do about it from that stand point. But is having sex with another man a solution. Lets look at it this way. The other man is married. So, if worst comes to worst. Everyone finds out. You ruin your marriage, his marriage. Your family, his family. Especially if either you or him have kids. Its just not the right answer. Think this through before you go through with this. You will be hurting much much more than just your husband if it falls out. No good can come to this. You left high school drama long ago. Dont bring it back. My personal advice: Don't Do It. Its not worth it. There are much better solutions than just having sex. If you love him, then make it work.