I've fallen in love with someone i hate.

wrote the following:

i wanted to get back at him for making me hurt so bad. he made people turn against me, he made me feel insignificant and everyone apart from me liked him. i hated him.

one day, he went too far and he knew it. he wouldnt stop apologising and i 'forgave' him. it was all a lie, what i intended to do was to get back at him.

we started spending a bit more time together (bus journeys, library) and i started to gather bits about his life. before i knew it our free lessons were spent together, after college and it moved onto weekends. the texts started and then the phone calls.

now i have fallen in love with him "/ like desperately. he's told mutual friends how he feels the same but i dont believe him. i dont want a relationship with someone i have so much hatrid for.

i cant possibly explain what i mean because its such a weird emotion inside of me. i cant live with or without him.

dont worry i dont expect no comments, just need to get it out!