Posted on June 24, 2009 at 11:47 PM (PDT)
( about 1 year ago);
section: confession / relationships
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I'm so freaking confused...been married for two years now. Tell you the truth, I never thought i was going to be get married this early in life...i only had two gfs (now exs)in my life so far.... we rushed into our marriage because she realized she did not have an identify after been here for almost 6 years so at the time, I thought marriage would be fine since we are living together now, and she needed an identity...we were living together for almost 2 years before we found that she did not have an identity. now she has an identity, but because of our difference in work schedule, we barely see each other, except when we are sleeping...........and damn it, she cheated on my for almost a year...even when we were visit her parents in her own country!!!!!! I lost so much trust for her....We are trying to make up, and I'm trying to forget, and trying to gain trust that i had for her previously....not sure what's going anymore!!!
then a new girl came along at work. have no intentions whatsoever, but then as time goes by, hanging out with others, go to places, then...strange feelings occure.......i enjoyed so much hanging out with this new girl, we shared so much in common that i didn't realize this could be true...after about 3 months of spending a lot of time together with this new girl...i'm just so confused....this new girl also just started asking me questions about what does i think about our friendship?? she said it's good that we should be careful at our current sitaution, since she is single and i'm married...but i dont know...I have never felt so passionate about evertying this person do...not even with my wife (maybe it is because i found out she cheated...and i confronted her...and we sort of seattled this...basically i seattle, just be trying my best to continue with my marriage)...
right now, i'm at a point where the new girl realized that between us, we may not want to go further b/c i'm married and she is single...i think she does at least some feelings for me, and that's why she brought this up to me just recently (actually tonight while we were chatting online, after playing sports together)...i don't know...so far, i don't think have told this new girl about how i truly feel about her, and at the same time, i have not told her that my wife has cheated on me...
any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!~!!!
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12 responses to What is love???
RE: What is love???
Posted on June 25, 2009 at 05:58 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!
RE: What is love???
Posted on June 25, 2009 at 07:07 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
well i say once a cheater, always a cheater. thats one thing i will definitely not take. ever. you just dont cheat. i dont see how people can. its sticking out there that your wife got into this becaue she wanted an identity... shes using you... or was at first. just do what you think is right. u think u will gain trust back? do u think new girl would ever cheat on u? there is so many questions you have to ask yourself in order to make the RIGHT decision. i believe everything happens for a reason, so whatever happens in the end was the way it was suppose to be.
RE: What is love???
Posted on June 25, 2009 at 10:48 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
thank you for the your comments...since this new girl is been cautious with me now, but i know that she still does care for me as a good friend, and i think she does have some feelings towards me, but i think she is trying to supress it because i'm married and she's single...at least now, we are open (but i have not truly told her how i feel about her), do you think i should share about what's going on on my personal ends (like how my wife cheated on me, etc.)??
i feel like want to tell her about this, but at the same time...I really feel good around with this new girl, and i feel that I really want to tell her about my situation....again, any advice/commnets would be greatly appreciated...
RE: What is love???
Posted on June 27, 2009 at 10:11 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
Don't tell this new girl about your wife cheating on you....Just let her know how you feel about her...make her feel special...and if she feels the same about you then she'll let you know...maybe not via direct discussion...but you'll be able to tell. So I think the next step for you is to just tell the new girl and see what happens then. What've you got to loose? If your wife finds out then surely she can't hold it against you if you hardly see eachother AND if she cheated on you...
RE: What is love???
Posted on July 03, 2009 at 11:15 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
well. don't you think if i don't tell the new girl about my wife's cheating, and come out and tell her how i feel about her, the new girl may think i want to cheat too; in which i don't...i mean i don't want to do what she did to me, so...that's the confusing part...not sure about the big D word...
RE: What is love???
Posted on July 08, 2009 at 07:19 PM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
If you don't have any children and feel like you can part at aleast half of your finances, I say to get a divorce.
I personally have been cheated on three times (three difference relationships) and trust will never come back. If it was a one time thing, then maybe you can forgive but anything more than once (for you its a year), is not exceptable. There is no excuse she can give you that justify her cheating on you for a year.
Get a divorce and start enjoying life for yourself. There is no need to be considerate to her since she had no consideration for you.
RE: What is love???
Posted on July 08, 2009 at 10:44 PM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
We don't have any children, and the finance part shouldn't be too much of a problem for me.
somehow, when this happens to most people, they get angry. I, somehow, don't seem to be angry, but very very disappointed at my wife.
somehow deep inside, it maybe hard for me to part, I don't know why. I asked again to my wife why she had cheated on me, she said she didn't know the consequences until now. She didn't know how much it hurted me, and how much i had actually trusted her previously. Now, she says she know how much trust she had lost from me. She seems to be very sencere. Again, i have spoke with my parents, and they seems to be agree with most of you where they encourage me to have a divorce asap, and then start my life again; whether the new girl can be with me or now...
I guess it's very difficult to throw again 5 years of feels, time, etc...I'm still struggling...I usually go with my instinct, but right now, it seems to be no answer for me...any other inputs would be grealy appreciated, as i gather all my thoughts
RE: What is love???
Posted on July 09, 2009 at 01:23 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
There is really nothing else other people can say. Everyone handles things differently.
The correct decision lies within your heart.
You are lucky that you do not feel anger. I feel anger almost everyday. it is very hard to move on. I am pretty much a lost cause.
RE: What is love???
Posted on July 09, 2009 at 10:44 AM (PDT) ( about 1 year ago )wrote the following:
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. I think one of the main reasons that I can't let go is because I feel sad/pity for my wife, if i do leave her...
not sure if this is the right feeling. therefore, my friend/parent had told me not to think with my heart, but with my head...
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