Dear God,

Dear God, I don’t know if you’ll get this or not. But I need your help… I need your advice… I need a sign. All these feelings keep rushing through my head 24/7. She’s always on my thoughts. I constantly think about her. I constantly miss her. Every time I close my eyes, I wish that when I open them, she would be there smiling back at me. Every time I take a breath, I wish she was there to hold my hand. Every time I do something great, I wish she was there to congratulate me. And every time I do something bad that either I know I shouldn’t, wish I didn’t, or made a mistake on, I wish she was there to let me know everything is going to be ok. I see her everywhere I go. I see what we’ve done together… and I see what we could still do together. I just wish she was still here. I wish she was just back in my arms. But then again, you already know all this. To be honest, I probably should be the last person asking for your help, for your advice. I should be the last person asking for a sign. I’ve doubted your existence. I’ve pushed you away. I still wonder. And I’ve stopped praying. I’ve stopped going. I’ve stopped believing. Yet at the back of my mind and to this very point, here I am asking for your help. It’s been almost a year now that I’ve lost her. It’s been close to a year now since I’ve truly held her in my arms. It’s been almost a year since I last kissed her. It’s been almost a year now that I could say that she’s mine. But I haven’t stopped loving her. I haven’t stopped missing her. And I haven’t stopped hoping that eventually one day we will be together again. But you already know this. Throughout these past months, there have been times where I could feel us back together. I could feel the spark there. I could feel the love that she has for me. So much so that I feel that we are on the brink of re-starting our relationship. And then a few times over, the plug has been yanked from the wall and I’m back at square one. And here I am again… this time feeling like this could be the last time. I know it takes patience. I know it takes time. But I want her back more now than ever and it feels like patience is the last thing I have. Do I continue? Do I still fight for what I believe in? Even after all this heartache, do I continue to hope for the best and fight for the one that I truly love? I want to fight… I want to continue. And like I’ve told her many times before… I truly believe that we are meant to be. And as I write this, I feel like I’m answering my own question. If I truly believe that – if I truly mean what I say, then that means yes… continue what I’m doing because if you believe it than you have to keep going. I just want a sign God. That this is all going to work out in the end. A sign, that this time it’s different than the last few times. Advice on how I should carry out what I believe in. Should I just go out and lay everything on the line at once? Or should I continue to be patient and wait for her decision. I need your help on what I should do. I don’t want to lose her. I don’t ever want to be without her again. I miss her too much. I miss her with all my heart and soul. I’d do anything to get her back. I love her. I don’t know if you’ll get this God. But please… I need your help, advice, or a sign.