First Love

**I miss you.** I don't know why you chose me of all people to start an affair with. I'm not beautiful or funny. I am, however, underage. I'm hoping that's not the reason why you picked me...even though my friends say it is. I keep on telling them that you didn't take advantage of me. I made my choices and I don't regret them. But my poor judgement has led me to a massive heartbreak. I suppose I deserve this for hooking up with a married man. But I didn't know about her until you told me a month in. I know, I know. Doesn't excuse my actions. I continued the affair anyway. Because I loved him. (Love **you** if you're reading this) I'm not sure you feel the same. Not after that last day when you said some cruel things. Cruel but true things. Like how I hurt the people around me when I don't get what I want and how I'm not actually the mature young woman you thought I was. I guess that means I hurt you. Sorry. And sorry for not being that mature young woman. I always thought I was; I still do, but I guess every teen believes so. I just thought that...maybe I was the exception. The world can only have so many exceptions. This is a good thing. Try again with your wife. That's what I started out telling you to do. Ha. Before I fell in love. But seriously, I respect you for respecting your marriage (even if you started a little too late). I don't regret what I had with you even though I'm not so sure you actually loved me now that I look back on 'us'. No matter. I'll pretend you did. Maybe when I *do* mature into that young woman you wanted we'll meet again and I can tell you with absolute confidence that I've moved on. But for now I'm still... **That Girl Who Misses You**