He is critical to her and bossy to us
He takes authority that doesn't belong to him and respect he hasn't earned
He is a dictator in the relationship
He is a walking contradiction with his religious views and lifestyle
He is immature and uses his past as a crutch to manipulate people
He is isolated and anti-social
He is with my mom
He tells her to hush in mid-sentence and doesn't let her finish talking without cutting her off or overlapping her. He tells her she's wrong when she agrees with him on things, which is rare, because she uses a different vocabulary or words it differently than him and he is willing to contradict himself in order to sound original and "high and mighty". I clearly don't like this person. He brainwashes my mom into thinking that in order to be in a love relationship, they need to be conjoined twins and can never leave each other, I mean, go into the next room without the other person (that rediculous).
He puts her down constantly by calling her fat and then uses deconstructive critism like, "Next time, don't be so lazy and then we can actually make it to the top of the mountain. You were slacking off." Instead of, "You did really well this time, I want you to know that I'm proud of your progress and I think we should push the limit next time. What do you think?" He has a HUGE ego.
My mom has been single for 15 years. She's still technically married to my dad, even though they haven't been together for quite some time. He was never a good husband or dad, for that matter. My mom's always used her kids as her companions. Her friends her age were either excessive talkers, and she never really got to talk out her issues, or her friends were worse off than she was so they just were not very helpful. She looked to her kids and used them as a sounding board. Then when she fianlly decided that she didn't want to be lonely anymore, she went and got with a guy from her past. Suddenly, her "companions" were her kids again and she treated them as such, even though they were mostly grown at by then. PICK ONE! She can't talk to us as her companions and then go telling us that we are too young to understand "grown up" stuff when we try to interject our thoughts. Puh-leez :/
Okay, back to the dude. I don't know why she "loves" him. He's a jerk and argumentive. They aren't compatible (their words, not mine) and they almost always disagree on some very big issues, like religion and relatioships.
The worst part is, he came down to "visit" us for 3 very long, very annoying, months and I was against it from the start. Don't pay for some guy to come down here and act like he owns the place! Now he's finally gone off to find work, my mom paid for a ticket even though she's pretty financially unstable herself, and he's supposed to pay her back...right. Okay, and when he was here, she would say that he sort of withheld intimacy from her because it was like punishment. So eveytime he got hurt or upset, she'd chase him into the room like a puppy and then they'd spend most of their time in there. Gross. I strongly dislike him. I'll NEVER accept him unless he changes so much that he resembles a completly different person. She expects us to all somehow become one big happy family, but this isn't 'Barney and Friends'. I will not sit there and act like this fool is good for our family when he clearly is not. Now that he's gone, he says, "Oh, I said I wouldn't marry you but I really would..." And she FELL for that!
She tried to break up with him like 5 times over the phone (which she's ALWAYS on) since he's been gone but she would just cry and mope around the house all week looking at his pictures and crying, saying stuff like, "AHhWAHHa I can't even look at spagetti without crying. WHHAAA!" O-M-G. Ok. You made spagetti like what, 3 times with him...since he was here. You ignore the fact that he treated you like dirt and you couldn't even be yourself around him...always walking on egg shells...hiding candy bars...wispering so you wouldn't offend him...REDICULOUS! You've been independent for so long and this is YOUR house. Now I hear he's coming back in a couple of months. THANK THE LORD I'll be occupied with college and dorm life. My escape! but if he tries to live with us and if I have to spend a Christmas or Thanksgiving with him...things will start to look ugly. I promise. And I'll be there next summer too so he BETTER be gone by then. I hope. He got his warning when I blew up on him the first time...there's more where that came from! I've seriously picked this thing apart to its very core...it still looks pretty rotton. Can't wait for the sequel...
If you read this whole thing, I applaud you. ANY advice!? I want to be nice to my mom and respect her, but I want absolutly NOTHING to do with him. TOO bad they're a packaged deal and she's too passive/heartbroken to tell him no and has picked him over her children.
She wants so badly for us to just accept him so we can all ride off into the sunset together, but I just can't lie to myself like that. Everytime he opens his mouth, it's a complaint, insult or some PROFOUND statement (that no one cares about), and I so badly want to SLAP HIM IN THE FACE! I won't be at the wedding...that's for sure...(if there even is one...).
END...
PLEASE END!
2 responses to "Are you crying over spagetti again!?!?! REALLY!!!??!"
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RE: "Are you crying over spagetti again!?!?! REALLY!!!??!"
Posted on August 13, 2012 at 03:10 AM (UTC) ( 10 months ago )wrote the following:
RE: "Are you crying over spagetti again!?!?! REALLY!!!??!"
Posted on August 14, 2012 at 02:46 AM (UTC) ( 10 months ago )wrote the following: