Okay, i actually have a proper fear. I am terrified of being alone. Like of not finding someone who likes me, for me. i'm terrified of not falling in love. Of just going threw my life on my own, with people continuously saying "you'll find someone"..."there's someone out there for everyone". But what if there's not? Alright, to get things straight, I am only 16. I know, already loads of you are like "oh god you're only 16, you have loads of time" and all this shite, and i know okay? But seriously! i have two best friends ok? And I love them to bits, they are my life. They are pretty and gorgous and all of the above. They are always talking to guys, and they always tell me about guys they liked or guys that like them and whatever. they tell me about guys they meet up with, go to the cinema, meet up in town, whatever! And, i want to be happy for them, I do, but I can't . Yes, I tell them that I am happy and act with like like any best friend does, but I just can't anymore. I know loads of girls kid around about being "forever alone" and whatever, and a lot of them think it. But i'm honestly scared, I'm terrified. I'm going to college next year. In my head I always think of people I know in college already, friends like. And I see people I know who would never been with a guy or girl or had a boyfriend or girlfriend in secondary school (okay I'm from Ireland, so I think it's the equivalent of highschool ? I don't know really) and I think, yeah that's me. I think oh college guys are not as judgemental with looks and body image. But what if they're not? college guys are just secoundary school boys one year older, right ? Ugh I don't know. But at the rate I'm going now it's shite. I know of girls my age who have been with their boyfriends for 3 or 4 years! My sister and brother both have a boyfriend and girlfriend. And i'm just here like, yeah, I suck. So yeah, If you want to comment or whatever go ahead. if you think I'm a tool, let me know. If you think I'm stupid, let me know. I don't really mind really what yee say. But I will read it!
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