I'm absolutely going crazy tonight. I'm a newlywed and I'm still friends with an ex bed buddy. While my husband knows everything about my past and knows we are friends, he doesn't know how I've been feeling lately. The ex BB has recently drunkenly declared his never ending love for me. When asked sober he says it's all true but regrets telling me. Now my feelings for everyone are all mixed up. My thoughts are flooded with the ex's memories. But of course I'm still madly in love with my husband. A little background: My husband and I are very open sexually and our only restrictions are that we talk about things before they happen and include the other. We agree to be together forever and be true to each other by being honest. Some call this having an open marriage, we just think it's ridiculous to restrict each other. We are in our early 30's, not religious, generally liberal when it comes to sex, love, marriage and lifestyle. Back to the ex, I just plain miss him sometimes. He says he won't let me "cheat" but that almost makes me want him more. It seems as though he's taking the moral high ground but I just don't know... All I can think about tonight is kissing him. Not even sex, just kissing him again. I'm dwelling on how amazing his lips would feel and how overwhelming my body would respond to his kiss. I'm going fucking crazy tonight. I had a chance to see him today and I forced myself not to. We live very close to each other so it's easy to see each other and we regularly run into each other during community events and at restaurants/bars. Should I just force myself to stay away, or just give in to my needs? If my husband did this to me I would be pissed. It's just so hard to hold in this feeling of want. I don't even know if I'm looking for an answer. I'll probably just do whatever I want no matter what. Every time I run into the ex it just floods my mind body and spirit with thoughts. Maybe I should just tell my husband and work it out; talk through it.
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