so im a girl who has no definiton. im not a loner. im not *popular*. im just, a girl. im average looking of italian/irish/german/english boring background. nothing exciting, no gorgeous features, just hazel eyes, dirty blonde hair, and thats it. but theres one think about me that no other girl (that i know) has delt with, or deals with. if so, then shes just as private about it as me....lets start from the beginning. when i was little, my oldest brother, lets call him jim...had anger issues, and got sent away. came back, and my dad went to europe with his band, left my mother, jim, and my other brother..bob, with no car, no money, nothing. came back and got into a fight with my mother. furniture was broken, things were flying, bob and stayed on a chair crying, scared, and confused. jim had anger issues again, so that didnt help. jim use to try to kill me. bob was always quiet. a few years went by and my mom had baby girl....sissy.. and she got (and still gets) everything she wants. shes spoiled rotten. we're not that rich of a family, and theres six of us... life has been good for the past 17 months, because i have a wonderful, amazing, caring boyfriend, scott. buuuut, heres where i get not so normal... my whole life is a lie.........my mother had a miscarrage before jim was born, and i tell people she was my sister becky, who died when i was like 4 and she was a year older than jim. i tell people jim and becky have a different dad then me bob and sissy.. i tell people i was raped (though i was taken advantage of when i was 4).... i tell people my father got two girls pregnant when he was in europe at a party...i tell people i got sent away, when really jim did...i tell people about this life i had in another state from the time i was born, till i was 10. when ive lived in the same house my whole life......and sometimes, i even believe my lies....im fucked up and i know it..i cant help it......im a mess...maybe thats why i want to be a psychologist so bad.......

3 responses to my story.

  1. Don't lie. That's it... You don't need to think any deeper than that. Just don't do it. Nothing good comes of lying. I've done it and I know its almost addictive, and you think to yourself... I'm not really hurting anyone and so what if I'm living in this pretend world. But you can't predict the future, and something is bound to happen that will make the consequences unavoidable. I hurt myself, but it could be worse and you end up hurting other people. Make a resolution to say no more, ok.
  2. Nothing a bottle of Whiskey and a shotgun wont fix.
    • Get a chainsaw and play Doom 3 or watch Texas Chainsaw massacre!