I'm so confused

Posted on April 27, 2012 at 03:32 PM (UTC) ( about 1 year ago);
section: rant / relationships
views: 100
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Afbfd6b433d22092104195b75d0934dc

wrote the following:

My boyfriend and I have been together for five, almost six years. On Tuesday he confronted me through email telling me he's unhappy with our relationship and would like some space. I am not upset that his contact was through email because in his email he stated the reason for it being an email and not personal was because I intimidate him emotionally in serious situations. Understandable. It's actually one of my main flaws he cannot handle right now. I overreact, raise my voice and get angry quickly. Anyway, we talked for a couple hours later that evening and really didn't come to any conclusions. He told me I make him unhappy and that he was worried he would hurt me further on down the line if he didn't do this now. He also said he was scared this wasn't a smart decision and that he might lose me. We didn't make any rule or guidelines for this break. I'm currently couch surfing as we were between homes and living with his dad at the time. I'm not sure if I should attempt to get an apartment because I don't know how long this is going to last. I haven't moved my things out. I only packed a few clothes and my personal items. I'm mainly just very confused. What's the point of putting this on here anyway? Fuck my life.

 

3 responses to I'm so confused

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  1. RE: I'm so confused

    Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:07 PM (UTC) ( about 1 year ago )
    replies: 0
    Aaff8fbcc5dad007f8eabc523b03e70e

    wrote the following:

    I'm sorry you are in this situation and it would be natural to feel pained and confused. Honesty should be a fundamental in any loving relationship or any true and sustainable relationship for that matter, and I believe in your situation your boyfriend has offered you that, by expressing his true feelings regarding your relationship. Regardless of faults and blames, matters appear to have progressed beyond those levels. The break appears inevitable in your circumstance. See the positives - your BF was honest about his feelings, no drawn-out drama, no lies, no rows and arguments, no sexual politicking, no fakery. That's admirable and brave of him and respectful to you and your feelings, even despite its negative implications. Its unfortunate and no doubts you'l feel hurt, confused and stressed at how things have turned out both emotionally and all the other practical consequence a seperation entails. Ride your pain and acknowledge them, but deployed the emotional intelligence and now concentrate on yourself. Claim your independence from the past and see new beginings, new opportunities and further positive growth for you. You have loved him enough to set him free, let him find himself - the future awaits you both and you are young enough.
    So, get yourself up, my darling, dust yourself down and see the new dawn. You will grow stronger as each day passes. Some matters in life are 'rites of passage' - a breakup of a once loving relationship - is almost a certainty for all humans.

  2. RE: I'm so confused

    Posted on April 28, 2012 at 02:46 AM (UTC) ( about 1 year ago )
    replies: 0
    3beb0251d64a85920a58f94fcfb46ca6

    wrote the following:

    Well if it makes you feel any better, 6year relationship nowadays is a great accomplishment so congrats on that. As for your situation: I dont know the guy so I cant say much, but it seems that he is trying not to hurt you by breaking up with you, which as hard as it is to hear is pretty admirable. I dont have enough info on your relationship either but it seems you are willing to admit to your faults which is also rare and a very good sign that the relationship can be salvaged if you want it bad enough because that means you can change some things that might be messing up what might be a great relationship. Its around the 6-7 year mark that relationships hit a "speed bump" sort of speak. It is a time to decide whether to work and fight for the relationship, or move on. Just please dont fuck your life. Life is a gift, surround yourself with as many things that make you happy as possible.

  3. RE: I'm so confused

    Posted on April 30, 2012 at 06:04 AM (UTC) ( about 1 year ago )
    replies: 0
    A2eb7970a53dba8d454cae06c414809e

    wrote the following:

    Sounds like a good opportunity to think about those flaws that scare him and work on them a bit. Let him know you're willing to work on them and, if necessary, get help to control them. Maybe even ask him that, if you're willing to commit to doing that, if he would help you as you don't want to lose him either. Give and take. Time to face that flaw to save what's more important.