I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 14. My mom calls me a cougar. We've been together 9 beautiful, meager months, but honestly, he's the best thing that's happened to me. He's helped me in my Christian walk and he's there for me... somewhat. Not physically. He's not allowed to date because of his mother. I know our actions are not God honoring, but I love him too much to let him go. We haven't kissed, we hug sometimes and hold hands occasionally. But other than that our relationship is a big secret and I don't know how much longer it can stay that way. We've almost broken up twice because we feel like God wants that, but neither of us know how to tell. I want to love God more than my boyfriend, but honestly, I don't even know how to start. I feel like God's turned His back on me and walked away.