Was sinking... Now drowning.... (story of a pathetic girl)

The smoke has taken me deep Deep below the pit of emotions in my stomach My only cravings are for more of my monster or for a physical touch I was drowning Then they took my hand and pulled me out of the turmoil But they didn't know how bad it had already got So I went back out Dove head first back into my two twisted addictions Kicked sex(with another person) But this monster is a little harder to shake at this point I'm thinking detox at a hospital But I still have some monster on me I should just flush it, Forget it, And move on. But it's just not like that. I simply can't do it. That's so pathetic. Thus, this is what my monster has turned me into; A heartless, hopeless, feinding, physically deprived scrub. So my life is full of waiting for the right moment to strike. That's all my mind is on, it's all I function for or with. I'm too young for this, But age is simply a number. I'm lost, so lost in my addiction. I have a thousand pounds of lies and pain on my back, And it's hurting so many others. I know what to do But my stupid impulses are dragging it out longer and longer If this isn't my last sack for at least two weeks, I might as well roll over and die.