what do i do ?

there's this incredible strain in my relationships with everyone i know. i cant change the fact that i cannot trust anymore anymore. and i cant get this feeling of everyone not paying enough attention to me anymore like if i dont matter anymore. its getting harder and harder to keep myself together. i looking for answers to solve all my problems but i just cant seem to find them . its like there impossible to fix or something. im having trouble with myself im struggling with my own self. how does anyone bear losing or not having any friends because they're so sheltered. how do i deal with a boyfriend who doesnt even make me seem like i was his choose in the first place but something he ended up with. i try my hardest to be okay for everyone else to be there for everyone else but when i need someone no one seems to care not anyone . where do you honestly run to when you cant hear what god wants for your life. what do i do?