These comments belong to the entry I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

In response to RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life , someone wrote:

  1. RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

    Posted on July 17, 2012 at 08:23 AM (UTC) ( 10 months ago )
    replies: 4
    D3923ab648de43312e357e639ea7af86

    wrote the following:

    Everyone thinks about offing themselves from time to time. Sometimes things seem so bad that you think "Everyone would be better off without me all I do is f*ck things up". Well let's be real. Killing yourself is selfish!!! It's not to end someone elses pain or to end the burden of putting up with you. If those people wanted you not around you would be murdered by them someone they hired or...they just would not associate with you at all. So never think your doing someone a favor by offing yourself...your just being selfish. Next please look around a little bit because no matter how bad you think you have it someone has it WAY WORSE and they are not thinking of killing themselves. Are you starving? Are you paralyzed? Are you dieing from some disease? Are you living on the street? Are you jobless? Look at the glass and after your done being upset about it only being 3 quarters empty, then be happy it's a quarter full because I gurantee you there is someone who would trade there problems with yours in a heartbeat. I also gurantee you that if you were given the option to take on that persons problems instead of your own you would readily turn them down and be happy for what you have. I have wanted to kill myself a few times in my life. Things seemed so dark so alone....heartbroken downtrodden and friendless. Then I found someone out of nowhere...when I was not even looking for someone...when I thought I was unloveable and not worth anyones time. I'll tell u what lifes not perfect now things still go wrong I still get down and out. If I had followed through and killed myself I would have never met her. I would have never had all those great times I would not trade for anything in this world. So when my time comes I'll meet it. But no matter how bad things get I will not force my own demise. Because I know. I know for a fact things get better. Give life a chance it may surprise the ever living sh*t out of you from time to time.

    • RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

      Posted on August 31, 2012 at 04:05 AM (UTC) ( 9 months ago )
      replies: 1
      313c7f9a056daf30b5edac50779d48e2

      wrote the following:

      I am in a fetal position, frozen, can't focus on goals, afraid anything I do will be wrong, I'm ugly, mean. Who wants to listen to me complain... I'll crawl into this hole and shake and waste away. Five pounds lost this week. .

    • RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

      Posted on September 02, 2012 at 06:41 PM (UTC) ( 9 months ago )
      replies: 0
      5589a9fe38ba7a9a7cdeafd5ec4e39d2

      wrote the following:

      Hang in there. Keep calm and carrying on... ministering angel will come along your way soon.

    • RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

      Posted on September 08, 2012 at 10:25 AM (UTC) ( 8 months ago )
      replies: 0
      A7114f2495c5fe2889c12dd6b8f87847

      wrote the following:

      Hi I understand how everyone feels Ive moved after an ex took me for everything. I'm living in Bairnsdale have a job but not really any friends I'm 34 years old and am starting to get depressed and very bitter. Finding it harder to fall asleep and even harder getting up in the morning. Currently living with my parents which I can't believe I am doing. Initially moved out of home when I was 18 years old :-), lucky they were nice enough to let me live with them. Got home to find 5 pages of writing about how I'm not doing anything positive to better myself. ( well a nice way of saying it). It hurts reading it. People think I'm confident and have a lot of friends because I fake it. Where did I go wrong can't work out how to pull myself outta of this hole/ rut. Don't have anyone to really talk to and every day is getting worse. My confidence is gone I can't even think of asking a girl out cause I'm starting to feel useless and unworthy. Just felt like writing this down to get it out of my head. Thankyou

    • RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

      Posted on December 03, 2012 at 01:19 PM (UTC) ( 6 months ago )
      replies: 0
      Df7cca78c3d0055a4c88e977cc89564e

      wrote the following:

      I tried to kill myself once. I was 24 years old. Had already gone through childhood molestation, physical abuse, starvation, neglect and homelessness. As an adult this made me very socially awkward. It was difficult to make friends or keep a job. People aren't comfortable with anyone who is different then themselves. Then I had an abusive boyfriend. His girlfriends harrassed me. He was cheating on all of us, but it was my fault. He threatened me with guns. The only friends I had used me. My fat fuck ugly sister beat me daily. I was underweight and tiny. She was jealous and a gay homophobe. Which means she hated herself so she beat me. When I attempted to end my life, I was tired. I wan't interested in getting attention. I was a wallflower. I was tired. I enjoyed sleeping because my life was happier in my dreams. I didn't want to wake up, I just wanted to sleep and live in my dreams. When I finally decided to do it, my sister had just burned my back with a curling iron. So I bought pills. I was working 3 jobs and decided to wait until I got all my paychecks in. I had planned on leaving them for my sister. When I woke up in the hospital, my first thought was "Wow, that was stupid". I knew what I had done wasn't the answer. A so called friend had called me, then an ambulance and then my sister. They all fought over what I had done. After that EVERYONE hated me. I had felt alone and isolated before attempting suicide, but now it was even worse. Before I had people who at least talked to me to get stuff from me, now they wouldn't even talk to me. I walked away from my life without ending it. I worked at getting a better job so I only had to work one and not three. I eliminated those who used me including my family. I dwelled on me. I worked out. Made friends at the gym and started a new life. It's been 20 some odd years later. I got married and started my own family. I walked away from the dysfunctional life and am very happy. I've heard through the grapevine that my gay homophobe sister got married to a guy that routinely beats her. Karma. She has children that they abuse. Sad. I've learned that I cannot control how others treat me, but I can dis-allow negative behavior. I expect to be treated the good way I treat others. Anyone thinking of killing themself needs to sleep on it. It is always better in the morning. Figure out what it is that is hurting you and change it. YOU are the only one who can make those changes. Do it and you will have a happy life.

4 replies to RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

  1. RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

    Posted on August 31, 2012 at 04:05 AM (UTC) ( 9 months ago )
    replies: 1
    313c7f9a056daf30b5edac50779d48e2

    wrote the following:

    I am in a fetal position, frozen, can't focus on goals, afraid anything I do will be wrong, I'm ugly, mean. Who wants to listen to me complain... I'll crawl into this hole and shake and waste away. Five pounds lost this week. .

  2. RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

    Posted on September 02, 2012 at 06:41 PM (UTC) ( 9 months ago )
    replies: 0
    5589a9fe38ba7a9a7cdeafd5ec4e39d2

    wrote the following:

    Hang in there. Keep calm and carrying on... ministering angel will come along your way soon.

  3. RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

    Posted on September 08, 2012 at 10:25 AM (UTC) ( 8 months ago )
    replies: 0
    A7114f2495c5fe2889c12dd6b8f87847

    wrote the following:

    Hi I understand how everyone feels Ive moved after an ex took me for everything. I'm living in Bairnsdale have a job but not really any friends I'm 34 years old and am starting to get depressed and very bitter. Finding it harder to fall asleep and even harder getting up in the morning. Currently living with my parents which I can't believe I am doing. Initially moved out of home when I was 18 years old :-), lucky they were nice enough to let me live with them. Got home to find 5 pages of writing about how I'm not doing anything positive to better myself. ( well a nice way of saying it). It hurts reading it. People think I'm confident and have a lot of friends because I fake it. Where did I go wrong can't work out how to pull myself outta of this hole/ rut. Don't have anyone to really talk to and every day is getting worse. My confidence is gone I can't even think of asking a girl out cause I'm starting to feel useless and unworthy. Just felt like writing this down to get it out of my head. Thankyou

  4. RE: I'm going to kill myself out of loneliness...fuck life

    Posted on December 03, 2012 at 01:19 PM (UTC) ( 6 months ago )
    replies: 0
    Df7cca78c3d0055a4c88e977cc89564e

    wrote the following:

    I tried to kill myself once. I was 24 years old. Had already gone through childhood molestation, physical abuse, starvation, neglect and homelessness. As an adult this made me very socially awkward. It was difficult to make friends or keep a job. People aren't comfortable with anyone who is different then themselves. Then I had an abusive boyfriend. His girlfriends harrassed me. He was cheating on all of us, but it was my fault. He threatened me with guns. The only friends I had used me. My fat fuck ugly sister beat me daily. I was underweight and tiny. She was jealous and a gay homophobe. Which means she hated herself so she beat me. When I attempted to end my life, I was tired. I wan't interested in getting attention. I was a wallflower. I was tired. I enjoyed sleeping because my life was happier in my dreams. I didn't want to wake up, I just wanted to sleep and live in my dreams. When I finally decided to do it, my sister had just burned my back with a curling iron. So I bought pills. I was working 3 jobs and decided to wait until I got all my paychecks in. I had planned on leaving them for my sister. When I woke up in the hospital, my first thought was "Wow, that was stupid". I knew what I had done wasn't the answer. A so called friend had called me, then an ambulance and then my sister. They all fought over what I had done. After that EVERYONE hated me. I had felt alone and isolated before attempting suicide, but now it was even worse. Before I had people who at least talked to me to get stuff from me, now they wouldn't even talk to me. I walked away from my life without ending it. I worked at getting a better job so I only had to work one and not three. I eliminated those who used me including my family. I dwelled on me. I worked out. Made friends at the gym and started a new life. It's been 20 some odd years later. I got married and started my own family. I walked away from the dysfunctional life and am very happy. I've heard through the grapevine that my gay homophobe sister got married to a guy that routinely beats her. Karma. She has children that they abuse. Sad. I've learned that I cannot control how others treat me, but I can dis-allow negative behavior. I expect to be treated the good way I treat others. Anyone thinking of killing themself needs to sleep on it. It is always better in the morning. Figure out what it is that is hurting you and change it. YOU are the only one who can make those changes. Do it and you will have a happy life.