These comments belong to the entry help...
In response to RE: help... , someone wrote:
1 reply to RE: help...
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RE: help...
( over 1 year ago )
replies: 2
forgot to post this reedit: ok so i really have this "bally hoo" thing stuck in my head. what was i thinking? "bally hoo"? the my4walls part i get but "bally hoo"? what the fuc? "bally hoo"
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RE: help...
( over 1 year ago )
replies: 0
ok so i haven't written in a while, but first i want to ask those of you reading this 1 ?. "B"? i'm talking about doing physical and life threating damage to a person or a few. i guess that wanting ti kill a person only ranks a "B" with you people and here i thought i was the one in need of help. ya'll r some sick folks.
(side note: doing this totlally live atm so no going over grammar or over explaining things.)
k so last time we posted n/ething here was over 2 months ago. wow, am i behind. k so quick review. he touched me, entered my place unwelcomed, and worst he took a shit here. (i know that last thing seems kind of petty but its the principle of that fact he didn't request permission and he just started wandering around the place. really hate nosey ppl.) so the deal up til now. well you missed much. most of that you can blame on me. stress, lack of work, no internet. so yeah i got lazy about updating this but things are much better now.
anyways k so the whole he touched me thing...we're up to 6xs that he has put his hands on me in an aggressive manner.
6
6xs what was i thinking. you wanted him to hit you. (hes bigger than you, stronger than you, no reason you can't defend yourself. too bad if while you where defending yourself he accidentally died. oops. a perfect plan. get him to attack you with witnesses around. we fight and then boom he dead. the perfect crime cause no one would have ever thought that i wanted him to fight me so i could simply explain his death as self defense and really kill him as i truly want to do, but just have an excuse as to why thats hard to prove,) as great as that is and as perfect as it seems only one thing could fuck it up. a 62 yro special ed mother fucker. man is dumb as dirt about most things but i noticed the things hes actually rather smart at. he good at remembering conversations. no biggie there he already knows i don't like working for him rather work most n/e where else but its money he needs the help and i need the cash. it works...well it did till that day. if i would have had anything in my hands i would have beaten him to death. i would have beaten him til his head was just paste. then i would have had to kill the 62 yro not that i would have minded he bothered me n/eways.
so yeah, i don't work for him n/e more these days. still want to kill him. plus he still owes me money.
so heres how thing are for him these days. more trouble from the ex. loss of work cause he no longer has me. oh, and he still wants me to work for him if i have the desire or the time. too funny. he still thinks we can be friends yeah right. my ass we could ever be friends. well that helps to catch you all up as to how things are with him.
going bk to the boat thing. i'm finally back to detailiing yachts. SOOOOO happy! i love working on the yachts, plus my boss is like an older version of me. hes a surfer, me sk8r. he plays drums, i program drum machines and play keyboard. we're both stoners. pretty much the sam........................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
so there it is. "familiarity". i like him because hes me. he has a morning routine. pb&j samies every morning. stopping at the same gass station every day that we work. same time pretty much every morning. (i like writing things helps me to see what i did't ever/really see til i can sit bk and read it.) i'm just wondering if this some how is related to a mother issuse. i'm sure it is. so in reality things didn't get better they just got back to what you like, patterns.
i can honestly say that the though to kill has dropped off some what but i still think about kiklling ppl, just not as much these past two weeks.
speaking of killing the gay guy called me. 1st time in a long time since i moved into this place. didn't really ever want to hear from him again. i see pictures of him in my head still splashing down through a glass top table after drinking liquid draino.
then theres sandy still. how i want to kill her no matter what. i swear i ever win the lottery she will die. (mostly cause i'd have the resources to find her.)
just realized now that i no lonfger work for him means no trophy. kinda good wasn't liking the idea of a trophy (even though you still have a number of what could be call trophies that use to belong to sandy. yeah, still trying to scan them into the computer. their still trophies, whether you have the real pages or copmuterized copies of them. guess theres no getting away from having trophies.) some times it seems as if self reflection is more dangerous than simply being ignorant. sometimes the more i reflect the more i dread ever being born.
everything that i ever wanted fell through. problem is i want to have too many things to happen and theres never enough time, money, and mostly lack of motivation. i really need a smart girl who could be my bk. guess in my case i do need a smart strong woman...FUCK!
mother was strong when she was off the drugs. when she was on the drugs you had to take care of her. ok do i take the simple way of explaining my failures. i.e. blame all my short coming on my mother cause i was too busy watching after her to motivate myself or i could say as a result of living with her once i got to a certain age i went wild got arrested and nearly got 48 yrs in prison. (not that i would have lived that long in jail.) well that pretty much ruined my life with all those years of probation, plus being use to traveling so frequently i could never really feel home n/e where. proably explains why i have a hard time finishing things cause almost nothing in my life was ever completed (save high school. if not for the drinking i could have graduated much higher that 39th out of 653 ppl. too late to think on it now nothing you can do about it now.) everything keeps coming bk to my mother. i'd kill her too fit she isn't alrdy dead.
i can't help- but laugh as i read this. perphaps being cloned would have been a better all be it a shorter existance.
(way off topic, but then again not like i haven't gone off topic before. but being the time that it has taken me to write this much the captcha has changed like 4xs so far too funny.)
i hate rain means no work. only real downside to detailing yachts. means too much time for me to think about things...not always good. now i'm depressed...no money, no weed, not tired and only want to write a bit more here for now. maybe i'll try to watch a movie. could work on my story. haven't written on it in a bit (actually need to rewrite the rewrite lol.) still laughing about the name "bally hoo".
at least since i stopped working for/with him i actually started to get things crossed off my todo list. so thats a good thing at least right? i think i'll read som other posts i see a few that might be interesting. so for now bye bye.
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reply
RE: help...
Posted on October 03, 2011 at 05:22 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
RE: help...
Posted on October 03, 2011 at 05:26 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
RE: help...
Posted on October 03, 2011 at 05:45 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
RE: help...
Posted on December 12, 2011 at 03:23 PM (UTC) ( over 1 year ago )wrote the following:
ok so i haven't written in a while, but first i want to ask those of you reading this 1 ?. "B"? i'm talking about doing physical and life threating damage to a person or a few. i guess that wanting ti kill a person only ranks a "B" with you people and here i thought i was the one in need of help. ya'll r some sick folks.
(side note: doing this totlally live atm so no going over grammar or over explaining things.)
k so last time we posted n/ething here was over 2 months ago. wow, am i behind. k so quick review. he touched me, entered my place unwelcomed, and worst he took a shit here. (i know that last thing seems kind of petty but its the principle of that fact he didn't request permission and he just started wandering around the place. really hate nosey ppl.) so the deal up til now. well you missed much. most of that you can blame on me. stress, lack of work, no internet. so yeah i got lazy about updating this but things are much better now.
anyways k so the whole he touched me thing...we're up to 6xs that he has put his hands on me in an aggressive manner.
6
6xs what was i thinking. you wanted him to hit you. (hes bigger than you, stronger than you, no reason you can't defend yourself. too bad if while you where defending yourself he accidentally died. oops. a perfect plan. get him to attack you with witnesses around. we fight and then boom he dead. the perfect crime cause no one would have ever thought that i wanted him to fight me so i could simply explain his death as self defense and really kill him as i truly want to do, but just have an excuse as to why thats hard to prove,) as great as that is and as perfect as it seems only one thing could fuck it up. a 62 yro special ed mother fucker. man is dumb as dirt about most things but i noticed the things hes actually rather smart at. he good at remembering conversations. no biggie there he already knows i don't like working for him rather work most n/e where else but its money he needs the help and i need the cash. it works...well it did till that day. if i would have had anything in my hands i would have beaten him to death. i would have beaten him til his head was just paste. then i would have had to kill the 62 yro not that i would have minded he bothered me n/eways.
so yeah, i don't work for him n/e more these days. still want to kill him. plus he still owes me money.
so heres how thing are for him these days. more trouble from the ex. loss of work cause he no longer has me. oh, and he still wants me to work for him if i have the desire or the time. too funny. he still thinks we can be friends yeah right. my ass we could ever be friends. well that helps to catch you all up as to how things are with him.
going bk to the boat thing. i'm finally back to detailiing yachts. SOOOOO happy! i love working on the yachts, plus my boss is like an older version of me. hes a surfer, me sk8r. he plays drums, i program drum machines and play keyboard. we're both stoners. pretty much the sam........................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
so there it is. "familiarity". i like him because hes me. he has a morning routine. pb&j samies every morning. stopping at the same gass station every day that we work. same time pretty much every morning. (i like writing things helps me to see what i did't ever/really see til i can sit bk and read it.) i'm just wondering if this some how is related to a mother issuse. i'm sure it is. so in reality things didn't get better they just got back to what you like, patterns.
i can honestly say that the though to kill has dropped off some what but i still think about kiklling ppl, just not as much these past two weeks.
speaking of killing the gay guy called me. 1st time in a long time since i moved into this place. didn't really ever want to hear from him again. i see pictures of him in my head still splashing down through a glass top table after drinking liquid draino.
then theres sandy still. how i want to kill her no matter what. i swear i ever win the lottery she will die. (mostly cause i'd have the resources to find her.)
just realized now that i no lonfger work for him means no trophy. kinda good wasn't liking the idea of a trophy (even though you still have a number of what could be call trophies that use to belong to sandy. yeah, still trying to scan them into the computer. their still trophies, whether you have the real pages or copmuterized copies of them. guess theres no getting away from having trophies.) some times it seems as if self reflection is more dangerous than simply being ignorant. sometimes the more i reflect the more i dread ever being born.
everything that i ever wanted fell through. problem is i want to have too many things to happen and theres never enough time, money, and mostly lack of motivation. i really need a smart girl who could be my bk. guess in my case i do need a smart strong woman...FUCK!
mother was strong when she was off the drugs. when she was on the drugs you had to take care of her. ok do i take the simple way of explaining my failures. i.e. blame all my short coming on my mother cause i was too busy watching after her to motivate myself or i could say as a result of living with her once i got to a certain age i went wild got arrested and nearly got 48 yrs in prison. (not that i would have lived that long in jail.) well that pretty much ruined my life with all those years of probation, plus being use to traveling so frequently i could never really feel home n/e where. proably explains why i have a hard time finishing things cause almost nothing in my life was ever completed (save high school. if not for the drinking i could have graduated much higher that 39th out of 653 ppl. too late to think on it now nothing you can do about it now.) everything keeps coming bk to my mother. i'd kill her too fit she isn't alrdy dead.
i can't help- but laugh as i read this. perphaps being cloned would have been a better all be it a shorter existance.
(way off topic, but then again not like i haven't gone off topic before. but being the time that it has taken me to write this much the captcha has changed like 4xs so far too funny.)
i hate rain means no work. only real downside to detailing yachts. means too much time for me to think about things...not always good. now i'm depressed...no money, no weed, not tired and only want to write a bit more here for now. maybe i'll try to watch a movie. could work on my story. haven't written on it in a bit (actually need to rewrite the rewrite lol.) still laughing about the name "bally hoo".
at least since i stopped working for/with him i actually started to get things crossed off my todo list. so thats a good thing at least right? i think i'll read som other posts i see a few that might be interesting. so for now bye bye.